Whether by my own choice or others, I am often the navigator when hiking or cycling. Inevitably I will halt in the middle of a path and say that I’m not sure if we’re going in the right direction and less than a minute or two later a sign or some other indicator will reassure that all is as it should be and we are indeed on the right path. This has become a bit of a joke with those whom I hike with frequently. When I stop, someone will say, ‘Well, a sign should be right around the corner.’ The junction or turn seems to always take longer than the map and directions indicate and I second-guess my understanding of the path. Recently I was hiking with friends and the directions I had and the actual path were completely incongruous. I was trying to get us to some falls and also to a viewpoint. We wandered around in the forest for quite awhile and discovered things that weren’t on our map, never making it to the falls but we did find the viewpoint over Loch Ness in the photo above.
There are times in life when the path is clear and I can see more than one step at a time and other times where it just seems to meander around, going nowhere. Still other times I have a sense of what the bigger picture is… I can see a light in the far distance calling me forward but have no idea how the path is going to go from where I am to over there, which looks pretty far away. But the meandering isn’t in vain. Cliche as it may sound, the journey has a job to do, and also a lot to offer if we slow down to experience it.
Selling my house was a good example of this. The process was time-consuming and, therefore, frustrating for me. Some days I wanted to bag the whole thing as nothing seemed to be happening, and I like things to move. Other times there were intense waves of activity and high levels of interest; I would think we were close to a deal and it wouldn’t go. I struggled with wondering if I got it wrong and wasn’t supposed to sell. Other times I was filled with a calm certainty that all would be alright. In the midst of this up and down process of a crazy real estate market and hope/let down, I finally got a solid offer… and then rejected it outright with no negotiation. I didn’t feel good about it; the people didn’t feel right for my neighbors based on the potential buyers’ behaviors and attitudes, the offer appeared good but I had a feeling that these buyers would be unreasonably difficult. It was just not the right deal. I had an indication that another offer might be made but I had nothing certain. But I felt certain of my decision. In due time, an offer shaped up and came forward that has proven to be the right thing for all involved.
What I only realized after all of this was over is that the process was always as it should be. The process was working itself out, giving time for the resulting buyer to come forward, giving time for me to build greater faith and patience. I was also learning to trust and take bigger risks in the face of money and what I thought I wanted, which was the kind of offer that the first buyers made. Sometimes something seems to be what you want but you begin to see that it’s not the right thing for you. How the end result happened and the details of it I had not imagined, and I had imagined a number of possible outcomes at the start. Although my feelings ebbed and flowed, I held onto the sense that I was to sell and that it would work out for the best… and it did.
I find that I sometimes get the big, broad brushstrokes of a direction with no clarity on how it will go. Other times I see a next step but don’t know where it’s going, where I’m going. But I am learning through entering into new experiences that most things are as they need to be even though it doesn’t always make sense or feel good. What is mine… to welcome the fresh wind that gently moves me forward, fight for what needs to be fought for, give what needs to be given, do what needs to be done. And release and accept that the rest is as it needs to be and its purpose is to move each of us forward to who and what is ours.
Finding one’s way in this world and this life… again I see a greater sense of ‘destiny’ at work that is taking me places that I have, and have not, imagined. I have had experiences that I dreamed of having–going to my dream destination, Santorini, Greece for one–and many more that I had not imagined. I have met people whom I cannot see my life without and whom have remained, and others have moved through my life and I through theirs as we find our own direction, intersecting for a time now and then. And it is as it should be.