Synchronicity

I wonder if synchronicity is any less present because one doesn’t know it as such.

I believe that I have been granted individual freedom of choice as a human being. I don’t believe that I’m a puppet fulfilling an inevitable destiny but have been given the ability to co-create my future; yet this future affects others in large and small ways. I have freedom to act, but that freedom has impact. Sometimes I can see things come together in an inexplicable way in what could be described as synchronistic and unexplainable. Some might say it was fate or destiny. Some might say it was an intervention of grace. It might be all of these.Why do you take one street day after day and, suddenly, you have the urge to take another on a particular day and meet a person who becomes significant in your life? What if you’d ignored that urge and just stayed in your routine? We often don’t realize what happens from the actions we take. We just have to trust the truest thing we can choose to do to be in integrity with ourselves and others, whether we see the benefit or not.

Storm Large choosing to perform in Edinburgh was interconnected to many things that followed. I wouldn’t have written the post, ‘Skip This Post If You’re Easily Offended’ the way I did or when I did. People who let me know that they needed to hear this at this time wouldn’t have heard it, and the subtle or not so subtle shifts in them through the experience wouldn’t have occurred, and the shifts in me from their correspondence to me wouldn’t have happened… etc. One of the people who would read that post felt connected with me before meeting me and has ended up becoming the kind of friend whom you feel that you’ve somehow known forever.

I have also seen the other side of impact when I withhold my thoughts or truth. I think that for the most part I try to share myself authentically but recently I became silent and self-protective in a situation. I only realized later that I wasn’t true to myself. More than a year ago I was facilitating a leadership workshop in which a man became deeply upset and wept. He believed that if he had awakened earlier to some of the things we were discussing he would have made different decisions. He felt that he was now in the twilight of his life and he felt regret.

I still feel an ache in my heart for him and that experience serves as a reminder to me to do my best to stay true in the moment to what I feel I need to do or say, before the moment passes and what could have been created disappears into the mist that hovers on the edges of physical existence. I don’t believe that everything that could have been will be. I think there are things that, once lost, are lost forever. So it makes me think a little bit more these days when I’m tempted to ignore the voice within that says, ‘Go for it’ or ‘Don’t go there, instead go here.’ I also feel that ‘mistakes’ or things that look like a complete mess can be worked together for one’s good, especially if we recognize them and do our part to make amends with ourselves and others. I have plenty evidence of this in my own life. Storm also touched on this when she talked about her mother’s crazy behavior literally chased her into the life she loves now.

Last night I had dinner with the new friend that I mentioned earlier. After dinner, instead of hiking in the rain, we went out and had chocolate caramel fudge cake and a glass of wine and experienced an instant connection that was deep and nourishing. We knew that it was no accident that we met. Truth is, we almost didn’t. I almost didn’t go to the church that morning and I was tempted to leave immediately afterward. But I was hungry and it was a long walk home so I decided to get some soup and sit and eat it, but it was scalding hot and took a long time to cool down so I sat there and waited. A woman saw me sitting alone and came to talk to me and then went to talk to the woman who would turn out to be my new friend because I shared that I enjoyed hiking and walking, and she knew the other woman did as well. She asked her to come and chat with me. What would be different if I had made other decisions along the way, or if she had been too busy, etc.? I emailed another woman in Scotland who I’ve been introduced to online through a friend back in the States and just at that moment she was thinking about me and ended up scheduling an appointment to come into Edinburgh when I would be here so we’ll be able to connect.

The outcomes I’ve experienced that have ultimately been most life-giving have been those where I’ve honored the deep longings that stir and ache within me, often by responding to simple, small urges… such as ‘I’m hungry and I’ll get something to eat’ or ‘I’ll email that person now instead of later.’ I deeply desired meaningful connection and friendship here in Scotland and by responding to smaller nudges, it supported my longing for meaningful friendships here.

What I realize, but sometimes don’t have patience for, is that the path to deeper fulfillment is made up most often of these tiny, seemingly meaningless steps and decisions that when heeded more carefully lead clearly and surely in the direction I long to go. And when other people are doing the same, something mysterious, grace-filled and ‘synchronistic’ occurs. And life makes just a bit more sense.